I didn't Get in.

It was the 2nd of January.

We named the year our Ebenezer Year, carrying the fire and vigour of the crossover service. Audacity became my theme, and it has stayed with me. I decided I would no longer take opportunities for granted.

I felt unstoppable. Like no door could truly shut against me.

Then I saw a vacancy at an initiative. At first, I didn’t see myself in any of the roles. But my mentor in Celebteens did. It struck a nerve. It made me feel seen. I took that seriously.

I didn’t want to let myself down. I didn’t want to let my mentor down. Somewhere, quietly, I had already accepted that I would get in.

It became in my subconscious.

No wasn’t an option.

Then the email came.

It did come at my 7 am Lower limb lecture which was over and my lecturer was already halfway into the next period.

It said no.

It didn’t destroy me, but it stayed with me. And instead of shrinking me, it demanded something from me. I wanted to know why. I was open to growth.

For the first time, I didn’t close the email as fast as possible and maybe sunk a little for a bit in class. I really wanted to know why. What I could have done better.

The truth is, I’ve been procrastinating refining the gifts I already have. And maybe this rejection wasn’t a denial, it was a nudge. A push I needed but hadn’t given myself.

I was so enveloped in fear last year.

All the things that could go wrong enveloped me.

But then,

It became clear to me: this was never just about the application.

It was about structure. About refinement. About taking my skills seriously and stewarding what I’ve been given.

So here we are.

Happy New Year.
Welcome to our Ebenezer Year.

I acknowledge fully that Jesus is my Helper. My only Helper. He has been with me from the beginning and continues to redirect my steps toward what is best for me, far beyond my own imagination.

Thank you Jesus, I see what you are doing.

Of course a song that stirred this letter.

Thank you for reading.

Love you as always.

Oh also, My birthday is next month.

I’m really excited.